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Avoiding unwanted pregnancy advice

>> Thursday, October 4, 2012

















Let's face it.  Pregnancy brings about so many wonderful, amazing things, but it also brings out SO much unwanted advice from friends, relatives, medical personnel, and heck, even strangers get in on the action!  No matter where you stand on any issue of parenting, child-raising, or even how you approach your pregnancy, there is always going to be someone who did things differently than you did or will, and they surely just have to tell you about it.  Here are some tips and tricks I've used during both of my pregnancies to avoid unwanted advice.

For whatever reason, a lot of the pregnancy advice I was given both times around was from strangers.  I don't know if I had a sign on my forehead that prompted people to come up to me and discuss my bump, but it happened a lot.  My main go-to in this situation was to pretend I didn't hear them or was too engrossed in what I was doing.  Mainly, I could tell by their first remark if it was going to be a good or bad conversation, for example, when an elderly woman recently pointed at my belly and said to me, "I know what you've been doing!"  Um, yep.  When I start to hear those remarks straight out of the gate, I get really interested in what I was doing and pretend either I didn't hear them, or didn't know they were talking to me.  It seriously works like a charm for people you don't know, I promise!

I've also found during my second pregnancy, that so many less people attempt to give me advice when I am either with my toddler or when I tell them I have a toddler at home already.  I wish I would have known this the first time around, because it if would have avoided some of those awkward conversations with strangers, I may have just fibbed a little and said I already had a child at home.

For people who know me, however, it is a little tougher.

Over the phone?  My husband happens to be on the other line sometimes, or all of a sudden, "Oh, shoot, little man is getting into XYZ, gotta go!" both seem to be really excellent ways to politely end the conversation.

In person?  Well, if you really know them (like well-intended family member advice), there is always the I have to use the ladies' room for the 50th time this hour excuse.

If push comes to shove though, and you find yourself being given advice that is either completely unwanted or totally opposite of how you plan on doing things, you may have to just grin and bear it.  I've found that just nodding and smiling works wonders to end the conversation sooner, because if you disagree, most of the advisers are going to try and tell you why you're wrong, which is always fun.  And, being polite and nodding through a few short conversations isn't going to hurt anyone sometimes.

What is some of the worst advice you've been given while pregnant?

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