As if there weren't enough things to worry about, there are some common guilt inducers that we as moms should stop feeling guilty about. We live in a very guilt inducing society. When it comes down to it, as long as you and baby are happy and healthy, guilt should be tossed aside! The energy used feeling guilty could be put to much better use!
Things to Stop Feeling Guilty About:
1. Formula Feeding. I suspect there will always be a hot debate between Breast and Formula. We all know that "Breast is Best", but sometimes, for whatever personal reasons, some women aren't able to or choose not too. Let's instead embrace the idea that every woman will make the best decision for their family and support one another. Agree to disagree and move on. It will be a happier place I promise.
2. Taking a "Time Out" for Yourself. You're a mom. You created, carried and delivered an ENTIRE human. It's stressful, you're sleep deprived, you need at least 2-4 more hands to get stuff done, and you haven't brushed your hair/teeth or showered. Take at least ten minutes. Lock yourself in the bathroom/bedroom, wash your face, rub on a lotion that smells yummy, light a candle, do some deep breathing exercises, read an article, take a cat nap, pray. In other words escape. I'm going to include in this date nights. Whether that's with your spouse/partner or girlfriends!
3. Asking for Help. This might be what you have to do to get more of the above [point number two]. It does not make you weak or less of a wonder mom. Here's a secret: WonderMoms ask for help. They realize when they are in over their heads and call for the calvary. The much needed break can clear your mind and help you feel better, making you happier and well adjusted. If someone offers help: TAKE IT. If someone offers to make dinner, wash dishes or watch the baby/babies/kids/walk the dog: Take them up on the offer!
4. Buying Something for Yourself. This could be a candy bar or a new shirt you found on sale. I used to feel guilty about buying a snack just for myself. Even though the kids had tons of other options, they always wanted mine. I finally said, NO. This snack is mommy's. You have your snack and this one is mine. Then I put it up high. Though there are no longer many places that are high enough for my 3 and 5 year olds! For the most part it's left alone. And I don't feel guilty about it. My husband and I have been known to buy something for ourselves and then take it back because we didn't get something for the kids. Another secret: the kids will LIVE.
5. Working or Going Back to School. Going back to work after having a baby can be rough. I did it after our first. I think I sobbed for a few weeks straight in the bathroom at work. I felt like I was missing out or having someone else raise my kid. I went back to work again when the kids were 3 and 1 years old. Sometimes there just isn't the option of staying home. My husband says he feels guilty when he works those long days where he doesn't get to see the kids at all. Kids know when they're loved. Plan Mommy/Kid or Daddy/Kid days. Also, going back to school shouldn't make you feel guilty. In fact it's a positive influence for your children!
There are many things we as parents can feel guilty about. Everyday is a learning experience. We grow as our children do and figure out what works best for our children and for us! Feel free to share things that you have learned to let go of.
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